What I want to write

I’ve been thinking about what kind of stories I want to write.

I read a lot – sci fi, fantasy, nonfiction, political, contemporary fiction, essays. Sometimes all this material is like meat tossed to the carnivore – my curiosity endlessly hungry for more and chasing down every interesting lead presented.

It’s all fuel for my internal fire, presenting me with ideas about stories and styles and approaches and themes.  And still, I’m pondering the central question – what kind of stories do I want to write.. not the style, not the genre, not the settings.  What are those stories about? Deep down, what’s trying to burst forth out of my aching chest like an alien?

Stories about relationships.  Not the standard fair of Disney and rom-com though. Not happily-fucking-ever-after. Real shit. Unexpected. I want to talk about non-monogamy.  The way it really happens, the heartache, the joy, the silliness and the serious. I want to talk about non-romantic non-sexual relationships and the way those can create a safety net, a place to retreat to and be held by. I want to write relationships that you cheer for, and the ones you didn’t see coming.

I want to write about the ways you can really believe you’ve done the right thing – for yourself and the person you’re in relationship with – and how it can all go fuckwise anyway, even when you did your best. I want to write about the ways you can change and they can change and then you’re both standing so far apart you have a hard time remembering how it felt to be together. I want to write about how you can want something so badly you make it happen, then realize the dream you had was built out of the dreams you’ve absorbed from elsewhere and not from yourself.

I want to write about the way people can be devoted and love each other without needing a contract, or anything recognizable by other people as a relationship.  The point of contact between two people is unique so why do we keep recycling the same old templates?

I want to write about how love and lust change our perceptions of people.

Alright, so anything beyond relationships, relating, sex and lust?

There are other ideas swirling around. Like the way we start seeing people differently once we know something about their story.  How looking someone in the eyes makes it impossible to not recognize them as fellow humans doing their best at life.

I want to explore the magic hidden in plain sight. The talent of ordinary people. The glory of giving and receiving a smile from a stranger.

And something about liminal spaces, transitions, the in-between spaces and people. Those of us who have crossed over in some way from one state to another see the world differently.  And how about the way the places we are so familiar with look so different to someone who has never been there before. There is a magic within those different perceptions, something to explore.

I guess the gist of this all is I want to get ‘the way I see and process things in my head’ into stories, into words, onto paper or screen and into the hands and heads of others. That’s the point of being a writer, right?